Massachusetts jokes
I was playing on Facebook and found some stuff on there which made me laugh and laugh!!
Group: I got out of pittsfield- therefore I'm not on crack
Description: Anyone from Pittsfield knows how easy it is to get caught up in Pittsfield- so props to all you mother fuckers that made it out!!
Group: I'm from Pittsfield, Mass. so I'm allowed to be an asshole
Description: slef-explainitory. if you're from pittsfield, or berkshire country in general, you have the god given right to be an asshole because you are better than everyone.
(note the misspellings!!)
Group Info Name: YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM MASSACHUSETTS IF.....
1. You've pulled out of a side street and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you can make a left
2. Stop signs mean slow down a little, but only of you want to
3. You know how to cross four lanes of traffic in five seconds
4. You believe using your turn signals gives away your plan to the enemy
5. You think it's not actually tailgating unless you're touching the bumper of the car in front of you
6. You know that a yellow light means that at least five more people can get through and a red one means two more can
7. The transportation system is known as the "T"
8. You could own a small town in Iowa for the cost of your house
9. You almost feel dissapointed when someone doesnt flip you off when you cut them off or steal their parking space
10. There are 24 Dunkin Donuts shops within 15 minutes of your house
11. When people talk about "The Curse Of The Bambino" you know what they're talking about and believe it too
12. You're amazed when traveling out of town that people at McDonalds actually speak english
13. If you stay on the same road long enough it eventually has three different names
14. Someone has honked at you because you didn't peel out the second the light turned green
15. You have honked at someone because they didn't peel out the second the light turned green
16. All the potholes just add to the excitement of driving
17. You think if someones nice to you they either want something or they are from out of town and lost
18. Six inches of snow is considered a dusting
19. Three days of 90 degree heat is definately a "heat wave" 63 degrees is "on the warm side"
20. You cringe everytime you hear some actor/actress imitate the "Boston Accent" on TV or in a movie, if you don't have it then you're never going to get it even if you were born here
21. At the ice cream shop you call chocolate sprinkles "jimmies"
22. You can go from one side of town to the other in less than fifteen minutes and see at least fifteen losers you went to high school with doing the same thing they were doing when you saw them last
23. The person in front of you is going 70 MPH and you're cursing them for going too slow
24. You know how to pronounce towns like Worcester, Haverhill, and Cotuit
25. You know what they sell at a "packie"
26.You've called something "wicked pissa"
27. You've slammed on your brakes to deter a tailgator
28. You still try to order curly fries from Burger King
29. You keep an ice scraper in your car all year round
30. You know at least three Tony's one Vinnie, and a Frank
31. Paranoia sets in when you can't see an ATM or CVS
32. You think crosswalks are for wimps
33. You've bragged about saving money at The Christmas Tree Shop
34. You know what "regular coffee" is, and you order iced coffee in January
35. You can navigate a rotary without a problem
36. You have been to Fenway Park
37. You refer to the New York Yankees as the Evil Empire
38. You feel the rest of the world needs to drive more like you
39. When someone calls you a "masshole" you take it as a compliment
40. You use the words "wicked" and "good" in the same sentence
41. You know what a frappe is
42. Saint Patricks Day is your second favorite holiday
43. You are proud to drink Sam Adams and think that the rest of the country owes Bostonians a thank you
44. You never say "Cape Cod" you say "the cape"
45. You went to Old Sturbridge Village and Plymouth Plantation in elementary school
46. You can drive to the mountains and the ocean all in one day
47. You have a special place in your heart for the Worcester Firefighters
48. You know the Mass Pike and 128 are some strange weather dividing lines
49. You do not recognize the letter "R" as a part of the English language.
50. You've gone from I-95 South to I-93 North by driving in a straight line and never changing direction.
51. You understand everything just said and passed it on to other massholes
Group: I got out of pittsfield- therefore I'm not on crack
Description: Anyone from Pittsfield knows how easy it is to get caught up in Pittsfield- so props to all you mother fuckers that made it out!!
Group: I'm from Pittsfield, Mass. so I'm allowed to be an asshole
Description: slef-explainitory. if you're from pittsfield, or berkshire country in general, you have the god given right to be an asshole because you are better than everyone.
(note the misspellings!!)
Group Info Name: YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM MASSACHUSETTS IF.....
1. You've pulled out of a side street and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you can make a left
2. Stop signs mean slow down a little, but only of you want to
3. You know how to cross four lanes of traffic in five seconds
4. You believe using your turn signals gives away your plan to the enemy
5. You think it's not actually tailgating unless you're touching the bumper of the car in front of you
6. You know that a yellow light means that at least five more people can get through and a red one means two more can
7. The transportation system is known as the "T"
8. You could own a small town in Iowa for the cost of your house
9. You almost feel dissapointed when someone doesnt flip you off when you cut them off or steal their parking space
10. There are 24 Dunkin Donuts shops within 15 minutes of your house
11. When people talk about "The Curse Of The Bambino" you know what they're talking about and believe it too
12. You're amazed when traveling out of town that people at McDonalds actually speak english
13. If you stay on the same road long enough it eventually has three different names
14. Someone has honked at you because you didn't peel out the second the light turned green
15. You have honked at someone because they didn't peel out the second the light turned green
16. All the potholes just add to the excitement of driving
17. You think if someones nice to you they either want something or they are from out of town and lost
18. Six inches of snow is considered a dusting
19. Three days of 90 degree heat is definately a "heat wave" 63 degrees is "on the warm side"
20. You cringe everytime you hear some actor/actress imitate the "Boston Accent" on TV or in a movie, if you don't have it then you're never going to get it even if you were born here
21. At the ice cream shop you call chocolate sprinkles "jimmies"
22. You can go from one side of town to the other in less than fifteen minutes and see at least fifteen losers you went to high school with doing the same thing they were doing when you saw them last
23. The person in front of you is going 70 MPH and you're cursing them for going too slow
24. You know how to pronounce towns like Worcester, Haverhill, and Cotuit
25. You know what they sell at a "packie"
26.You've called something "wicked pissa"
27. You've slammed on your brakes to deter a tailgator
28. You still try to order curly fries from Burger King
29. You keep an ice scraper in your car all year round
30. You know at least three Tony's one Vinnie, and a Frank
31. Paranoia sets in when you can't see an ATM or CVS
32. You think crosswalks are for wimps
33. You've bragged about saving money at The Christmas Tree Shop
34. You know what "regular coffee" is, and you order iced coffee in January
35. You can navigate a rotary without a problem
36. You have been to Fenway Park
37. You refer to the New York Yankees as the Evil Empire
38. You feel the rest of the world needs to drive more like you
39. When someone calls you a "masshole" you take it as a compliment
40. You use the words "wicked" and "good" in the same sentence
41. You know what a frappe is
42. Saint Patricks Day is your second favorite holiday
43. You are proud to drink Sam Adams and think that the rest of the country owes Bostonians a thank you
44. You never say "Cape Cod" you say "the cape"
45. You went to Old Sturbridge Village and Plymouth Plantation in elementary school
46. You can drive to the mountains and the ocean all in one day
47. You have a special place in your heart for the Worcester Firefighters
48. You know the Mass Pike and 128 are some strange weather dividing lines
49. You do not recognize the letter "R" as a part of the English language.
50. You've gone from I-95 South to I-93 North by driving in a straight line and never changing direction.
51. You understand everything just said and passed it on to other massholes
posted by maestro @ 6:37 AM
2 Comments:
At 7:54 AM,
Anonymous said…
Gosh, I found that state to be pretty chilled-out along the AT...
-Jill
At 1:31 PM,
maestro said…
that's because my parents fed you wine!! :)
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